Seeing the High Risk Doctor

It was time to go see the high risk doctor.  We had been waiting two weeks and it was finally time.  We were hoping that everything looked okay, but we wouldn't know until they did another ultrasound to see how my cervix was looking.  I really don't know if we could take any more bad news.  We first met with the ultrasound tech and she took some pictures for the doctor to look at.  It was so amazing to see how much the baby had developed in such a short amount of time.  We were only 10 weeks and the baby had changed dramatically.  It's so amazing to see how a life develops in the womb.  

When the doctor came in he began to explain to us that we were seeing him only for a precautionary reason.  According to him everything looked perfect.  My cervix was a good size and there was no concern for thinning at that moment.  It was such a relief that we finally went to the doctor with nothing to worry about.  He wanted to see me monthly just to keep an eye on everything, but for once no bad news!  

Can Working Out Improve Infertility?

When I first learned about my infertility I dove myself into working out.  My infertility issue was hormonal.  I wasn't producing the right amount of Lutenizing hormone, which makes you ovulate.  The doctor had a theory that it was due to me being on birth control for so long, 9 continuous years.  

To get my mind off of everything I began working out.  Something I had always done, but for the last year I had only been a runner.  I did some research online to find a good workout program.  I came across something called BodyRock.  It is a free daily workout program using H.I.T.T training (High Intensity Interval Training).   I began their month challenges 5 days a week.  It was great to do and gave me something to look forward to everyday.  I never realized how big of an impacted it would have on me and my life.

After 3 months of doing the workouts I found out I was pregnant.  I had to ask myself, was it the combination of working out with this program and prayer?  I truly believe the answer to this is yes.  Research shows that working out helps to balance out a woman's hormone levels.  I think the key was the type of exercises being preformed with this program.  Apparently, running wasn't enough because I had been doing that for 7 months and nothing had changed.   Then magically after 3 months I was expecting my first child.  I really believe that this type of exercise can impact hormone levels enough to change a women's body chemistry.  

If you are suffering from this same type of infertility I would suggest trying this program.  I will attach a link to their website for those who are interested.  You never know it could change your life too. 

 http://www.bodyrock.tv/

LEEP = High Risk Pregnancy

At this point we were so ecstatic that everything seemed fine with the baby.  The pregnancy was just to early to detect during the first visit.  I was officially 7 weeks, due date Nov. 22, 2012 Thanksgiving Day!  As the doctor went over my records she began to ask me about my previous surgery I had a few years earlier.  I had a LEEP procedure, which is a removal process done in cases of woman that have precancerous cells on their cervix's.  When I had the procedure done I was never told about the side effects, something I should have ask about, but didn't.  My OBGYN began to explain the worries with this procedure and pregnancy.  Narrowing of the cervix that can cause infertility may occur.  Also, after a woman has had a LEEP procedure, she has a higher risk of delivering a baby early due to the thinning of the cervix.  This was a concern for my doctor.  She said that I would not only have to see her, but also a high risk specialist.  I could look at this two ways, worried that I might deliver early, which was a high possibility either way.  Or I would get more ultrasounds and see my precious baby, I chose the second one. 

Our next step was to contact our insurance company, Tricare and wait for a referral.  Those reading this that are military understand the long process of waiting for approval.  It always seems to be a hit or miss of whether it's an easy process or not.  Luckily, for us this time within a week we had our referral.  You might have to jump through loops every once in a while, but overall military coverage is great and well worth the hassle. 

Our appointment was set to see the high risk doctor in 2 weeks.  Now it was just waiting until then. 

Waiting

Those two weeks were two of the hardest of my life.  Not knowing what was going on.  Waiting to see if I was going to start having symptoms of a miscarriage.  Up to that point I hadn't had any previous signs, but never experiencing something like that, how would you know what it felt like?   Spending countless hours on the internet trying to figure out what was going on.  If I wouldn't have had the support of my husband I don't know what I would have done.  All of the experiences we have faced together had made us grow so close over the last year.  He was always so optimistic, telling me that everything was going to be okay. 

The second week was the hardest.  It seemed that the days would creep by.  All I wanted was for our doctors appointment to get here!  I would try to redirect my focus on doing other things, but it was always on my mind.  

On the morning of our doctors visit I was a nervous wreck.  As we were driving we neither one spoke, just held each others hands.  I was trying to hold back tears as I watch the cars pass by us on the interstate.  I was trying to prepare myself for the worst, but mentally I just couldn't grasp it.  When they called us back my heart was going a hundred miles an hour.  It didn't matter if I was ready or not the time had come for us to find out one way or the other.  

When the doctor put the ultrasound up to my belly I remember holding my breathe.  I just couldn't breath until I knew one way or the other.  I was praying to God to let us hear or see something.  After a few seconds we heard what we had been longing for, a heartbeat.  It was hard to make the baby out, but they knew it was in there and that was all that mattered.  Our prayers had been answered, there was our baby, our little peanut. 

Deployment & First Office Visit

Deployment & First Office Visit

This was absolutely the happiest moment of my life!  Knowing that God had blessed me with this wonderful miracle.  My husband left that Friday morning going into work.  Once I was alone I began to thinking about his possible deployment.  Everything had changed now, I didn't want him going anywhere.  I wanted him to be able to experience this with me.  But, unfortunately we wouldn't have that choice, it was up to the Air Force.  I tried to look at the bright side, if he left now, he would get back just in time for the birth.  I would much rather him be here for that instead of the pregnancy.   Later that day my husband came home from work.  He told me the best news, it seemed that they weren't going to deploy after all.

That following morning I began to have denial so I took another pregnancy test, it read positive.  On Monday I set up an appointment on base and got a blood test, a requirement for our insurance company, it came back positive.  After getting these results I called and setup a visit with my OBGYN.  

The morning of my doctors appointment I was so anxious and excited.  What was going to happen, would we get to see the baby, hear the heartbeat?  We had no idea what to expect, but was ready.  After the typical physical exam was done it was now time to get out the ultrasound.  My husband came up beside me and held my hand.  This was it, the big moment of seeing our baby for the first time.  As the screen came on we waited to see our little miracle.  As we set there waiting the nurse looks at us without saying a word.  She turns off the machine and we are so confused, why didn't see show us the baby?  She begins to explain that she can't find a heartbeat or the baby. 

I look at my husband confused and devastated.  What did this mean, I didn't understand.  All the test came back positive, how could she not see anything?  She began to explain to us what possibly could be going on.  I could have miscarried, in the process of miscarrying, or it was just to soon in the pregnancy.  She scheduled us back in two weeks.  Now we have to wait...

Could it be....

Pregnancy Journey

Since the reality of deployment was upon us, my husband wanted me to take another pregnancy test.   I was reluctant because we had just taken one a week prior.  We went out and bought another one, but I wasn't ready to take it just yet.  I told him that I would wait until the morning.  I knew taking it was the right thing to do.  If my husband did deploy then he had the right to know he was going to have a baby before hand.  

The next morning I was ready to take the test.  As we waited for the results my husband looks at me, asking if I'm okay.  I was feeling so many emotions between a possible deployment, never having a baby and feeling so alone in this situation.  It doesn't matter how much friends or family members try to understand what you are feeling and going through, they can't.  Only those that have been in similar situations will be able to relate to you. 

My husband looks at me and says, "What if we are having a baby?"  As he says this to me I see out of the corner of my eye the words we have been longing to see for almost a year, "Pregnant"!  

I jump up and down saying, "We are having a baby!!"  That moment I will never forget.  The overwhelming joying and happiness of knowing I'm going to be a mommy!  

Struggles with Infertility

My Pregnancy Journey

We decided to start trying for a baby shortly after my 29th birthday.  A woman automatically thinks that they will become pregnant as soon as they are ready.  Even though we were both ready emotionally and financially, it just wasn't happening for us.  Here we were 7 months later, still no baby.  I had my annual doctors appointment at the gynecologist that month in December.   I was told that my hormones were out of balance and I was not ovulating.  My options were that I could wait it out and see if things get back to normal, or I could start infertility treatments. The chances of getting pregnant were very slim.  After the initial shock and a week straight of crying, I did the only thing I could do, I prayed.

I asked God to give me the strength and the knowledge to know what to do.  I decided that I would put it in God's hands and what he wanted would happen.  I began to redirect my day into exercising and trying very hard not to focus on having a baby.  That following March I had notice I hadn't had a period yet, it had been 40 some days.  I spoke with my husband and we decided to take a pregnancy test.  As we waited those long excruciating minutes my heart was racing.  As I looked down at the bathroom counter grief filled my heart as I seen the words flash on the screen "not pregnant".

One week later, my husband came home from work.  He had a concerned look on his face and I didn't know what could be going on.  He sat me down and proceeded to tell me that he was told he might be deploying.  Through my mind I tell myself, we knew this would happen, we will have time to prepare for his departure.  I started going through my head what all I would need to do for our first deployment.  Then the shocker came, if it happened, it would be in the next 48 hours.