Defeated Again!

Today I suffered another defeat.  But, first I must tell you what happen a month ago.  I know that the farther along you go in your pregnancy the less you will be able to use your abdominal muscles.  With that being said this is what happened.  I was on my way to a birthday party with my husband.  He was driving and I decided to adjust the back of the carseat....that was a mistake.  As soon as I hit the lever my husband accelerated on the gas.  As he did this I went flying backward, I was stuck flat on my back with no hope of getting up.  That is when I first discovered that my abs were no more.  As I laid there trying to get up without success all I could do was laugh at myself.  Eventually I was able to get back up with the help of my husband.  This was my first encounter with unusual accidents.

This brings us to present day.  I was getting some clothes out of the dresser in our bedroom.  Of course what I am looking for is in the lower drawers.  After I get out the shorts I needed I went to close the drawer back, but it was overstuffed.  I proceeded to tuck things in, as we all do, in hopes that it would close.  Let me remind you that I was in a squat while doing this.  As I shoved the drawer forward the momentum knocked me off balance.  The next thing I know I am a wobbling mess as I hit the floor, back first.  I just laid there for a moment realizing what happened.  I have literally been defeated by my dresser... 

Cardiologist Visit

Today I went to see the cardiologist, finally!  For the last two weeks my heart rate has been running higher than normal.  I have a blood pressure monitor at home so I can keep an eye on my husbands blood pressure.  I have been checking mine too lately.  My BP has been good, but my heart rate is running around 99 bpm.  This is when I'm resting so I wanted to make sure I asked the doctor about that today.  Also, I have been having shortness of breath when I lay down at night. 

I got into the doctors office this morning and had an EKG first thing.  The doctor came in and told me that everything looks and sounds fine.  I asked him about the increased heart rate.  He said that was normal with pregnancy, it's just from my heart working harder pumping more blood.  He also believes that the shortness of breath is just from pressure on my diaphragm when I lay down.  He suggested changing positions to relieve the pressure. 

I have to go next week to have an Echo done.  The main concern with someone with mitral valve prolapse is increased regurgitation.  He explained to me that when you are pregnant your heart enlarges.  Due to this and the increased flow he is afraid that the valve may not keep the blood from flowing back into my heart.  The Echo will show if there is anything structurally to worry about, especially for the labor and delivery.  This is something else that is precautionary, but better to be safe than sorry!

Tricare: Running in Circles

Here I am at my next doctor's appointment.  She tells me that I need to see a cardiologist.  I have a history of Mitral Valve Prolapse.  She is concerned that the increased blood flow may be hard on my heart.  So she tells me that I need to get a referral from my insurance and PCM (primary care manager).  I never imagined I would have to see so many doctors during a pregnancy!

So my first step is to contact my PCM to see if I can get a referral over the phone.  This was something I had always been able to do if it was to see a specialist.  When I called the appointment line on base the lady was beyond rude.  She said I had to come in and see the doctor before I could get a referral.  I tried to explain to her that it wasn't necessary, but she wouldn't listen.  So I got my appointment setup, now I had to wait 5 weeks before they could get me in.

Finally my appointment is here to see my PCM.  Once I get into the office the nurse wants to hear the babies heartbeat to make sure everything is okay.  She runs down to the pediatrics unit to get a fetal heart monitor.  When she comes back and begins to listen the machine doesn't work.  So, here I am all lubed up and she has to leave me there to go find another one.  A few minutes pass and she comes back.  She places the monitor on my stomach and nothing!  This machine doesn't work either!  For this to be a military base, you would think that would have working equipment.  The doctor comes in and does a basic assessment.  After all this hassle he tells me that for the future I could always call in and he would give me a referral!  I thought my head was going to explode.  My PCM referral to Tricare would take approximately a week.

One week later I got a letter in the mail with the doctor I would be seeing.  Now all I need to do was to setup an appointment with them, easy right?  Wrong.  I proceed to call the doctors office.  After talking with the receptionist she tells me that it's basically stupid to see them since it was in another part of the city.  She told me to call my insurance company and try to see someone else. 

Since I have been through this before I knew to get on Tricare's website and find a doctor myself.  I found one in the same area that was covered.  I then called the insurance company and told them what had happened and the new doctor I wanted to see.  They said it wouldn't be a problem and I would get my referral in 7-10 business days.  

I finally got the referral for the doctor.  I called the office to setup an appointment with them, will it be easy?  No.  I speak to this receptionist and she not only needs a referral from Tricare, but also my OBGYN.  So, I call my OBGYN and get them to fax over my information.  Is that good enough? No.  They make the doctor's office call for my referral, a fax is not enough.  Needless to say I have my appointment with the cardiologist in 2 weeks.  It only took 9 weeks total!!

Flutters!

My first trimester is officially over!  I can't believe the relief I feel knowing that the chances of miscarriage have dropped so drastically.  I can actually start to enjoy my pregnancy more too.  My symptoms have subsided and I am starting to get my energy back.  I actually feel normal again.  My doctors appointment went well and the baby is developing normally. 

I had been reading about feeling those first movements.  That it will occur sometime during the 2nd trimester.  But, with me just starting week 14, I just knew it would be a while before that would happen.  Plus, with this being my first pregnancy the chances of me knowing what those movements were was very slim.  

One evening I was laying on the couch watching T.V.  Then all of a sudden I felt something weird in my belly.  Could it be the baby?  A few minutes later I felt it again.  It was the most magical feeling in the world.  To me it felt like someone tickling me, but from the inside.  As the week goes by I only feel the baby every few days.  I began to worry about the lack of movement.  But, then I read that it was normal to feel the baby only a few times and then go days without feeling it again.  Every time I was able to feel the baby it was wonderful.  I can't wait for those first kicks!  

14 weeks

1st Trimester - Signs/Symptoms

Before I knew I was pregnant I had symptoms and didn't even know it.  One night I went to bed and began cramping.  I believed that I was getting ready to start my period since it had been days past when I should have started.  But, I never did.  The next night around the same time, cramping again, but still no period.  On the third night it was getting ridiculous and I took some ibuprofen.  After that I had no more cramping.  Later on I discovered that this was implantation.

My second sign was the increase sense of smell.  I was walking my dog around the neighborhood and all of sudden I got a scent of something that was awful.  I thought it was going to make me sick.  I had no idea where the smell was coming from, but it was out there.  I learned later that this sense is extremely heightened during pregnancy.

After we found out we were having a baby, around 7 weeks, the normal symptoms began to kick in.  My breast were so sore and enlarged.  I never had this problem with my periods, so I had no idea how bad it got until I became pregnant.  This lasted for around 3 months.

I have never thrown up.  But, I did have nausea everyday for a month straight.  I believe a lot of the reason for this was my increased smell.  I would go to the grocery and it was torture!  All the different foods mixed with the odor of different people.  My husband also made some homemade salsa with fresh cilantro. It still makes me cringe thinking about it. 

I did have my bouts of being emotional I'm sure, but I don't believe it was to bad.  My husband may differ on that, but in my opinion I wasn't horrible.  Overall, my first trimester has been a pretty easy one compared to others.  My total weight gain was 4lbs.

Traveling While Pregnant/Husband Graduates

Even though my husband just a few days prior had his fainting episode, he still wanted to travel back to see family.  He also had recently learned that he was going to be graduating with his Bachelors degree.   So, it was really important for him to walk across that stage.  Graduating from college is such an honor and it would have been horrible for him to miss this experience.  So we set off on our 1,000 mile trip.

At the time I was in my third month.  I didn't really know how I would hold up traveling for that distance.  But, it had to be done and I would just have to rough it out.  I made sure to bring plenty of snacks, since I was still having some trouble with nausea.  I also took a pillow and blanket in case I could sleep some, but usually that never happens.  All together this trip would take us 15 hours to drive.  When we reached around 10 hours into the trip I started to become pretty uncomfortable.  Between the backache and swollen feet, I wasn't a happy camper.  In a normal circumstance I wouldn't recommend traveling this long of a distance for someone who is pregnant.

We arrived at a my brother's house later that night and I was never so happy to get out of the car.  That following Saturday was my husbands graduation.  I can say one thing, even though I was miserable during most of the drive, it was well worth it to see the smile on my husbands face.  We got to see family for two weeks before we had to head back.  Unfortunately, we only had 2 weeks leave saved up and that used up all our vacation.  But, we wouldn't be able to see family again until the next year, so it was worth it.  All together in those two weeks between driving back and forth, we drove 2,500 miles.  I really don't think I would have been able to do it if I would have been further along in the pregnancy.

Health Concerns For My Husband

After everything we had been through together it was all looking up from here.  Our first trimester was almost over, the risk of miscarrying was going to drop drastically when we reached this milestone.  We had just decided to announce to the world, aka Facebook, that we were having baby!  We had planned a trip to go back to Kentucky/Ohio to visit family.

It was a Sunday afternoon and we were laying on the couch.  My husband had been having dizzy spells for almost a year now, daily.  But, after a while you get us to it and don't pay much mind to it anymore.  My husband got up to get something to drink.  When he stood up I seen out of the corner of my eye him bracing himself against the wall.  I knew he was dizzy and it would pass in a few seconds.  The split second I looked away I heard him hit the floor.

I jumped up running to him.  When I reached him he convulsed so hard, hitting his head and arm against our french doors.  I didn't know what to do, so I grabbed him holding him for dear life.  I didn't wanting him hurting himself anymore than what he already had.  After fighting me for a minute he began to calm down and come to again.  He had no idea what had happened, completely blacked out.  What do you do when you see someone you love in this situation?  Panic!

I began running around, not knowing what to do.  So I called the one person I knew that would know, my mom.  She got me to calm down and take breath.  It wasn't good for me to be panicked, Eric needed me to be strong.  Plus, it wasn't good for the baby.  I took him to the ER and after running test we didn't get any real answers, only bruises and a pump knot on his head.  They told him that he might have hypostatic hypertension.  Which basically means his blood pressure drops suddenly if he gets up to fast.  He was told to eat healthy and no more alcohol. 

Needless to say, I worry about him even now. 

Seeing the High Risk Doctor

It was time to go see the high risk doctor.  We had been waiting two weeks and it was finally time.  We were hoping that everything looked okay, but we wouldn't know until they did another ultrasound to see how my cervix was looking.  I really don't know if we could take any more bad news.  We first met with the ultrasound tech and she took some pictures for the doctor to look at.  It was so amazing to see how much the baby had developed in such a short amount of time.  We were only 10 weeks and the baby had changed dramatically.  It's so amazing to see how a life develops in the womb.  

When the doctor came in he began to explain to us that we were seeing him only for a precautionary reason.  According to him everything looked perfect.  My cervix was a good size and there was no concern for thinning at that moment.  It was such a relief that we finally went to the doctor with nothing to worry about.  He wanted to see me monthly just to keep an eye on everything, but for once no bad news!  

Can Working Out Improve Infertility?

When I first learned about my infertility I dove myself into working out.  My infertility issue was hormonal.  I wasn't producing the right amount of Lutenizing hormone, which makes you ovulate.  The doctor had a theory that it was due to me being on birth control for so long, 9 continuous years.  

To get my mind off of everything I began working out.  Something I had always done, but for the last year I had only been a runner.  I did some research online to find a good workout program.  I came across something called BodyRock.  It is a free daily workout program using H.I.T.T training (High Intensity Interval Training).   I began their month challenges 5 days a week.  It was great to do and gave me something to look forward to everyday.  I never realized how big of an impacted it would have on me and my life.

After 3 months of doing the workouts I found out I was pregnant.  I had to ask myself, was it the combination of working out with this program and prayer?  I truly believe the answer to this is yes.  Research shows that working out helps to balance out a woman's hormone levels.  I think the key was the type of exercises being preformed with this program.  Apparently, running wasn't enough because I had been doing that for 7 months and nothing had changed.   Then magically after 3 months I was expecting my first child.  I really believe that this type of exercise can impact hormone levels enough to change a women's body chemistry.  

If you are suffering from this same type of infertility I would suggest trying this program.  I will attach a link to their website for those who are interested.  You never know it could change your life too. 

 http://www.bodyrock.tv/

LEEP = High Risk Pregnancy

At this point we were so ecstatic that everything seemed fine with the baby.  The pregnancy was just to early to detect during the first visit.  I was officially 7 weeks, due date Nov. 22, 2012 Thanksgiving Day!  As the doctor went over my records she began to ask me about my previous surgery I had a few years earlier.  I had a LEEP procedure, which is a removal process done in cases of woman that have precancerous cells on their cervix's.  When I had the procedure done I was never told about the side effects, something I should have ask about, but didn't.  My OBGYN began to explain the worries with this procedure and pregnancy.  Narrowing of the cervix that can cause infertility may occur.  Also, after a woman has had a LEEP procedure, she has a higher risk of delivering a baby early due to the thinning of the cervix.  This was a concern for my doctor.  She said that I would not only have to see her, but also a high risk specialist.  I could look at this two ways, worried that I might deliver early, which was a high possibility either way.  Or I would get more ultrasounds and see my precious baby, I chose the second one. 

Our next step was to contact our insurance company, Tricare and wait for a referral.  Those reading this that are military understand the long process of waiting for approval.  It always seems to be a hit or miss of whether it's an easy process or not.  Luckily, for us this time within a week we had our referral.  You might have to jump through loops every once in a while, but overall military coverage is great and well worth the hassle. 

Our appointment was set to see the high risk doctor in 2 weeks.  Now it was just waiting until then. 

Waiting

Those two weeks were two of the hardest of my life.  Not knowing what was going on.  Waiting to see if I was going to start having symptoms of a miscarriage.  Up to that point I hadn't had any previous signs, but never experiencing something like that, how would you know what it felt like?   Spending countless hours on the internet trying to figure out what was going on.  If I wouldn't have had the support of my husband I don't know what I would have done.  All of the experiences we have faced together had made us grow so close over the last year.  He was always so optimistic, telling me that everything was going to be okay. 

The second week was the hardest.  It seemed that the days would creep by.  All I wanted was for our doctors appointment to get here!  I would try to redirect my focus on doing other things, but it was always on my mind.  

On the morning of our doctors visit I was a nervous wreck.  As we were driving we neither one spoke, just held each others hands.  I was trying to hold back tears as I watch the cars pass by us on the interstate.  I was trying to prepare myself for the worst, but mentally I just couldn't grasp it.  When they called us back my heart was going a hundred miles an hour.  It didn't matter if I was ready or not the time had come for us to find out one way or the other.  

When the doctor put the ultrasound up to my belly I remember holding my breathe.  I just couldn't breath until I knew one way or the other.  I was praying to God to let us hear or see something.  After a few seconds we heard what we had been longing for, a heartbeat.  It was hard to make the baby out, but they knew it was in there and that was all that mattered.  Our prayers had been answered, there was our baby, our little peanut. 

Deployment & First Office Visit

Deployment & First Office Visit

This was absolutely the happiest moment of my life!  Knowing that God had blessed me with this wonderful miracle.  My husband left that Friday morning going into work.  Once I was alone I began to thinking about his possible deployment.  Everything had changed now, I didn't want him going anywhere.  I wanted him to be able to experience this with me.  But, unfortunately we wouldn't have that choice, it was up to the Air Force.  I tried to look at the bright side, if he left now, he would get back just in time for the birth.  I would much rather him be here for that instead of the pregnancy.   Later that day my husband came home from work.  He told me the best news, it seemed that they weren't going to deploy after all.

That following morning I began to have denial so I took another pregnancy test, it read positive.  On Monday I set up an appointment on base and got a blood test, a requirement for our insurance company, it came back positive.  After getting these results I called and setup a visit with my OBGYN.  

The morning of my doctors appointment I was so anxious and excited.  What was going to happen, would we get to see the baby, hear the heartbeat?  We had no idea what to expect, but was ready.  After the typical physical exam was done it was now time to get out the ultrasound.  My husband came up beside me and held my hand.  This was it, the big moment of seeing our baby for the first time.  As the screen came on we waited to see our little miracle.  As we set there waiting the nurse looks at us without saying a word.  She turns off the machine and we are so confused, why didn't see show us the baby?  She begins to explain that she can't find a heartbeat or the baby. 

I look at my husband confused and devastated.  What did this mean, I didn't understand.  All the test came back positive, how could she not see anything?  She began to explain to us what possibly could be going on.  I could have miscarried, in the process of miscarrying, or it was just to soon in the pregnancy.  She scheduled us back in two weeks.  Now we have to wait...

Could it be....

Pregnancy Journey

Since the reality of deployment was upon us, my husband wanted me to take another pregnancy test.   I was reluctant because we had just taken one a week prior.  We went out and bought another one, but I wasn't ready to take it just yet.  I told him that I would wait until the morning.  I knew taking it was the right thing to do.  If my husband did deploy then he had the right to know he was going to have a baby before hand.  

The next morning I was ready to take the test.  As we waited for the results my husband looks at me, asking if I'm okay.  I was feeling so many emotions between a possible deployment, never having a baby and feeling so alone in this situation.  It doesn't matter how much friends or family members try to understand what you are feeling and going through, they can't.  Only those that have been in similar situations will be able to relate to you. 

My husband looks at me and says, "What if we are having a baby?"  As he says this to me I see out of the corner of my eye the words we have been longing to see for almost a year, "Pregnant"!  

I jump up and down saying, "We are having a baby!!"  That moment I will never forget.  The overwhelming joying and happiness of knowing I'm going to be a mommy!  

Struggles with Infertility

My Pregnancy Journey

We decided to start trying for a baby shortly after my 29th birthday.  A woman automatically thinks that they will become pregnant as soon as they are ready.  Even though we were both ready emotionally and financially, it just wasn't happening for us.  Here we were 7 months later, still no baby.  I had my annual doctors appointment at the gynecologist that month in December.   I was told that my hormones were out of balance and I was not ovulating.  My options were that I could wait it out and see if things get back to normal, or I could start infertility treatments. The chances of getting pregnant were very slim.  After the initial shock and a week straight of crying, I did the only thing I could do, I prayed.

I asked God to give me the strength and the knowledge to know what to do.  I decided that I would put it in God's hands and what he wanted would happen.  I began to redirect my day into exercising and trying very hard not to focus on having a baby.  That following March I had notice I hadn't had a period yet, it had been 40 some days.  I spoke with my husband and we decided to take a pregnancy test.  As we waited those long excruciating minutes my heart was racing.  As I looked down at the bathroom counter grief filled my heart as I seen the words flash on the screen "not pregnant".

One week later, my husband came home from work.  He had a concerned look on his face and I didn't know what could be going on.  He sat me down and proceeded to tell me that he was told he might be deploying.  Through my mind I tell myself, we knew this would happen, we will have time to prepare for his departure.  I started going through my head what all I would need to do for our first deployment.  Then the shocker came, if it happened, it would be in the next 48 hours.