Dealing with Loss/Miscarriage

My husband and I had decided it was time to start trying for another baby.  Our first child is now 2 years old and we would like for them to be close in age.  We made the decision to let nature take its course and put it in God's hands.  The first month we tried we were successful and found out we were pregnant!  Little did I know that this happiness I was feeling would be short lived.

FRIDAY

I will never forget the joy that comes along when you first find out that you are having a baby!  It was a Friday morning when I took the test to find out.  I had been having symptoms and thought I might be pregnant.  But, I was skeptical because the chances of getting pregnant on the first try were very slim. Plus with our first child it took almost a year because I had fertility issues.   I woke up and took the test.  I walked out of the bathroom to get my husband.  As we walked back in to check we were both overjoyed and somewhat shocked when we read the words "pregnant"!  

SATURDAY

By Saturday I was already trying to figure out what to do with the nursery and thinking about a birthing plan.  Since we are military we have to think about who will watch our daughter while we would be in the hospital.  The excitement was really kicking in for the both of us.

SUNDAY

Sunday morning started out like any other morning.  But, I noticed my stomach muscles were feeling tight.  I didn't think to much about it, just that it was uncomfortable.  Then as the day went on I started to spot.  I knew that spotting early on in pregnancy was okay as long as no cramping went along with it.  I wasn't in any pain and the spotting was very light.  I decided to go on about my day and try not to worry about it.  

MONDAY

I slept awful during the night.  My daughter was up a lot crying and I was so tired.  We slept in until 9am which was not like us at all.  When I went to the bathroom I then seen one of the worst things I could have, lots and lots of blood.  My heart just sank and I knew what was happening...I was losing the baby.  I had no idea what to do and was so lost.  I called my husband, who was at work, and told him about what was happening.  Unfortunately being a military wife I know all to well that duty comes first.  He was able to come home, but it was a couple of hours later.  After speaking with two doctors and the insurance company I was informed the best thing would be for me to go to ER.  

I still don't know if that was the right decision, but I had no idea what else I could do.  I knew that once a miscarriage started there was nothing you could do to stop it.  But, I had to know if that was 100% what was happening, so I went.  I sat there in the waiting room for 7 hours before I even got to see a doctor.  It was a horrible experience and I honestly wondered at some points if I was going to bleed to death before I could even see someone.  I had later learned the women that took my information only put down that I was there for "pain".  I'm sorry, but me losing a child and having a miscarriage is more than just an average person having some pain!  I was so furious after I learned that, but what could I do.  After 8 hours at the hospital I found out that I was still pregnant, but I was miscarrying and within the next few days I would lose the baby.  This has to be one of the hardest things I have had to go through.  I seen a saying after this happen and it has given me comfort.  

"AN ANGEL IN THE BOOK FOR LIFE WROTE DOWN MY BABIES BIRTH THEN WHISPERED WHEN SHE CLOSE THE BOOK TO BEAUTIFUL FOR EARTH..."

The only comfort I really have is knowing that my little angel is in Heaven already and that I will see them again.